Saturday, August 31, 2013

20 Marriage Tips Everyone Needs to Know

Below are 20 wise marriage tips from a man that was recently divorced. You wouldn’t normally think that a divorced man would give good advice on being a husband, but this man has been through enough hardship to know what is worth fighting for:
Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…
1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
divorce advice
2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.
5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.
7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.
Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.
9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.
11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.
12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.
13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.
14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)
15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.
17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.
18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.
19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.
20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.
In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.
Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.
But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.
If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.
The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.
If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.
MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.


Friday, August 30, 2013

13 Children's Book Quotes Every Adult Should Know by Molly Horan

Here are some lovely quotes of Children's books that made me say "RIGHT!".. hahaha.. As adult we forget! dont assume you didnt..

Credits to Molly Horan for the posting.

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The Napoles Story: So the entire Philippines will know By Alfredo Masigan

Janet Lim Napoles has strong ties before with the late Emilia Boncodin, DBM Secretary. Emilia is the one that keep Janet in the loop whenever a budget or SARO is approved and to which senator or congressman.
Gringo Honasan is a dear friend of Janet’s husband, Jimmy Napoles. I was surprised when I read somewhere online when Honasan was interviewed and he said that he doesn’t know the Napoles family.
During the coup in Cory’s time, Jimmy Napoles was driving a tank on the way to Camp Crame when his tank was hit by a mortar. Jimmy was operating the .50 caliber machine gun and the soldier driving the tank died during the blast. Jimmy survived and was jailed along with Honasan. If you can get clear photos of Jimmy Napoles online, you will see that part of his face and his arms show burn marks.
Their wealth started to build up during the late 90’s when they engaged themselves with mayors based in Zamboanga to use them as a front for a Foundation that will implement projects or deliver farm materials. With connections at COA, they were able to arrange completed projects without delivering anything. They established JLN group of companies sometime in 2000 and they moved to their new office from AFPOVAI to Discovery Suites on the 25th floor.
Soon enough, they were able to develop deep connections with more legislators in Congress and numerous senators. What JLN Group Of Companies do and their sub-companie, Jo-Chris Trading (named after their eldest child, Jo-Christine “Neneng” Napoles) – they use their foundations as the implementing agency for the funds of congressmen or senators. You see, congressmen and senators have budget, PDAF or the pork barrel , but these politicians do not have direct access to their funds and they can never touch it. So what they do is the politicians will create a project (common one is fertilizer distribution to farmers) and will ask DBM to set the budget. Then, there will be a public bidding to be held by DAR. The outcome of the bidding is already fixed and it’s Napoles foundation wins. The fund or SARO will be released through Janet’s foundation and the congressmen/senators will ask 70% of the whole amount. So if the project is P10 million, Janet will give 70% of that. Usually Janet’s nephew, John Francisco Lim is the courier of the money, they will meet at Podium or at a parking lot. The money are stored in plastic bags or paper bags.
So, whatever is left from the budget, 30% goes to Janet. They usually cash-in the check they get from DBM at Landbank in Greenhills and the manager there is part of Janet’s payroll. Janet also need to pay the inspectors from COA and whoever is involved in DAR.
This is their workflow. This is what they do for more than a decade. This is how the senators and congressmen make money. This is why theses politicians have so much and working class Filipinos almost have nothing. This is not only Janet’s fault. The greediness of the senators and congressmen are the driving point that keeps this system operating. It is also amazing that if Janet’s family and her company goes into trial, the people who will try them judges, senators, congressmen, are also part of this. I fear for the life of Benhur and Merlina as whistleblowers. Soon enough they will die. The people of the Philippines should protect them. NBI or the witness protection program cannot do anything about it. Because they are keeping the whistleblowers alive for their own use only. Once Janet gives payments to the NBI and once Revilla, Honasan, Arroyo, Pichay, Ducut, Pineda, Lim, Estrada, Soto, Lapid, and almost all the congressmen who were in post for the past decade, step in – there’s nothing Benhur or Merlina can do. They are as good as dead by now.
Please post this on your social media and share it to the world. It is time to stop this madness and remove the pork barrel and protect Benhur and Merlina.
Janet Lim Napoles and husband Jaime Napoles


I do not take ownership of the article above. This article is written and published by the respected Alfredo Masigan on the 21st of August 2013. And I believe its time for the entire Philippines to know the story.

Sabi naman kasi bawal ang PORK eh! yan tuloy. Pa order pa nga ng wheelchairs. Dapat pati wheelchair budgetan na kasi madami dami na sila. Next year sino nanaman kaya.


Tatak #SELFIE Pinoy Youth Summit

ONEBais joins Gawad Kalinga

Tatak #Selfie Pinoy Youth Summit 2013
Theme: "I believe I can.."

Venue: Bais City (Ballfield) 
Date: September 21-22, 2013

*Gawad Kalinga Community Development Foundation, Inc.
*Newground Events
*Gaba-an Youth Lead


- Over 2,500 expected delegates from different schools and groups
- 300 facilitators

Mission And Objectives

The mission of the Tatak #Selfie Youth Summit is to provide engaging on-site, interactive learning experience for the youth with activities geared towards a deeper understanding of self, for the purpose of raising one's self-esteem and making them stewards of the country.

In line to this activity we are encouraging OneBais organizers and members to be part of this event. This will help us grow and become good leaders in the near future.

Those who are interested to join please contact:
Khris Corsame


You've Made Me Stronger - Ram Chaves

Somehow this song helped..

A Love Story

There was a boy and girl who loved each other much. But due to some minor reasons they broke up. After the broke up, here are the thoughts they were thinking about each others.   

BOY  - at last I broke up with her.
GIRL - He broke up with me, at last
BOY  -  I don't know why I did that?
GIRL - he may have a strong Reason for leave.
BOY  -  I was so happy with her.
GIRL - All I did was disappoint him, I could have consider it, before.
BOY  - I got a new girl which I don't even like.
GIRL - He got a new girl which he's in love with.
BOY  - I got a new girl, It's only because I couldn't get my mind off from her..
GIRL - He doesn't even think of me.
BOY  - No one can replace her in my life.
GIRL - He replaced me with that Girl, so simply.
BOY  - She was so much better than my new girl friend.
GIRL - She has everything I don't.
BOY  - I want her back, so madly.
GIRL - He doesn't even want to hear my name.
BOY  - She's everything to me.
GIRL - I'm nothing to him.
BOY  - But now she probably hates me.
GIRL - But I can never hate him..
BOY  - I miss her.
GIRL - I miss him.
BOY  - Still I love her.
GIRL - Still I love him...

Thursday, August 29, 2013

I Weep for Miley by TREVIN WAX

Picking up a sub sandwich today, I saw a news report on CNN about Miley Cyrus’ performance at last night’s VMA’s. I was shocked, then sickened, then saddened.
For the rest of the day, I wondered:
What kind of people are we?
What kind of culture have we created?
What do we want our children to be?
No more wondering. Tonight, I weep.
I weep for the little girl who gave us Hannah Montana and became a role model to millions of little girls across America.
I weep for the lostness of a girl who doesn’t see herself stumbling around in the dark.
I weep for the news channels that profit from their all-day coverage of a young woman spiraling out of control.
I weep for the American Idol culture that promises glitter and gold to children, then chews them up and spits them out.
I weep for an entertainment culture that celebrates the breaking of every social taboo and the casting off of every restraint, only then to turn and mock the stars that follow suit.
I weep for a tabloid culture that finds celebrity gossip and embarrassing moments titillating.
I weep for women enslaved by a false view of sexual liberation.
I weep for men (myself included) who have failed to say, “Enough is enough.”
I weep for all the times I’ve looked at women as objects and failed to see them as someone’s sisters and daughters.
I weep for the fathers of Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Madonna, and all the family members of all the other women who feel they have to sexualize themselves to achieve success.
I weep for my five-year-old little girl, who twirls around like a princess and hugs me tight at night, when I think of the world she is growing up in, the world I will send her into.
I weep for the broken, messed-up world we live in.
But then I weep at the power of grace.
There’s Jesus, lifting the head of a woman of the night and sending her away into the light. There’s Jesus in a crowd, healing a woman desperately trying to cover the shame. There’s Jesus at the well, transforming a woman tossed aside by multiple men.
Weeping is no longer enough. Now, I pray.

I Love My Son

Fave quotes from "The Witch of Portobello" by Paulo Coelho

“What is a teacher? I'll tell you: it isn't someone who teaches something, but someone who inspires the student to give of her best in order to discover what she already knows.” 

“After all, what is happiness? Love, they tell me. But love doesn't bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it's a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; it's sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we're doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony.” 

“Reason lost the battle, and all I could do was surrender and accept I was in love.”

“You are what you believe yourself to be” 

“Because all my life I've learned to suffer in silence - Athena” 

“You are what you believe yourself to be” 

“No one can manipulate anyone else. In any relationship, both parties know what they're doing. even if one complains later on that they were used.” 

“when mouths close, it’s becausethere’s something important to be said.” 

“I've noticed that loneliness gets stronger when we try to face it down, but gets weaker when we simply ignore it.” 

“All we have to do is understand that we're all here for a reason and to commit ourselves to that. Then we can laugh at our sufferings, large and small and walk fearlessly, aware that each step has meaning” 

“I've always been a very restless person. I work hard, spend too much time looking after my son, I dance like a mad thing, I learned calligraphy. I go to courses on selling, I read one book after another. But that's all a way of avoiding those moments when nothing is happening, because those blank spaces give me a feeling of absolute emptiness, in which not a single crumb of love exists.” 

“Joy is like sex – it begins and ends. I want pleasure. I want to be contended, but happiness? I no longer fall into that trap.

Why I Hate Religion, But I Love Jesus

When its too late..

I was happily inlove with my friend turned bestfriend turned lover turned father of my baby for the past 6 years. We've been together for 5years and 2months. My world stopped when he realized I am not the right one for him. My world turned upside down and got nobody to seriously talk to. Since he was the only person I trust and the only one who was there for me from the start.

I was too busy that I didn't notice it was nearly the end for us. I was busy fixing myself when our relationship was torned apart. I just didn't see it coming. And it was too late.

If I could only return back the favor and bring it back. If only I focus on us. If only I wasn't naive enough. If only. There are a lot of "if's" on my mind. 

All I could remember now was the time we spent happy.

He was everything I ever wanted. He was a friend.

I dont know how to let go. I am too selfish to make him go. I am to blind to see that love is gone.

If' Only..

Its when you already found the right one for you, yet you are not the right one for that person.